Things That Aren’t Here Any More: Brains, Class, Stephanie Edwards

Probably like you, this author’s New Year’s Day includes certain long-time habits….  Even though only a few miles from the Actual parade:  snuggled in on the sofa, in ‘jammies’ surrounded by The Snack and the telly. 

Though the ‘jammies’ long-replaced with cozy red or black or striped kind of long-johns, the palate long-since evolved in sophistication, The Snack always included.  –Silly dated tasty: dry Onion Soup Mix -mixed with sour cream and, since Trader Joe’s “ran out of the best chips”-say what???-instead, saltine crackers.  

To Go with:  de-lish white wine, sparkling… Medjool dates…carefully-made egg-salad with green onions, on seeded corn rye triangles… medley of organic tomatoes with goat cheese, on whole wheat triangles…tiny Brussels sprouts, roasted, dusted with Parmesan cheese…ripe tangerines… Miss Gracelet –fudge cake…in the French Press:  organic coffee beans…yum….

Parade…
When I turn on “Rose Parade” -I wanna watch roses -flowers –floating in amazing shapes…I Don’t want to watch people –goose-stepping down the boulevard, striped pants, dumb tall hats, batons –flipping in the wind. -It’s the “Rose Parade’ -why band followed by band, band, band? 

–Bands crammed in, ad nausea…sheesh, after the band of each college that will play in the Rose Bowl -after some prize-winner or some such other special band, why, Please, are there More bands –then MORE –followed by horses –and MORE bands? 

Really, I’d like to know:  WHO is the audience–for band-ad nausea palooza -parents, grandparents, siblings of the marchers, Then Who wants to WATCH people march -in a band???

Tournament of Roses Committee:   the floats Don’t –they whiz past cameras –so fast, nearly impossible to See. Forget It -can all those bands, Please.

While I’m at it:  Get into THIS century, please.  This is the 119th Tournament –119 years ago:  you made a pact -not to have the Parade on a Sunday -so the floats, and the noise and the cars, wouldn’t scare the horses ‘parked’ in front of churches, for worshipers attending Christian services.   Jewish people don’t worship on Sundays–Muslims, Buddhists -millions of others don’t.  It is Time –at least Pretend you aren’t a bunch of WASPs –white Anglo-Saxon Protestant old white guys, oblivious to the Real World.  –TRY to evolve.

Dumb Rules:  Change it.  –No body takes a horse to church -anymore, believe it.   -WHAT is more depressing than First day of the New Year and NO Parade?  Stop pandering, favoring one religion over ALL others. The Parade should be ON January 1 -whatever day of the week that happens to be. Fix it.

daVine Remedy:  Floats on January 1 -any/every day of the week.

Good Thing…
It’s a good thing, good things to eat:  what’s on TV isn’t…some stations “think” violence –guns –garbage –sell-ebrities “news” appropriate, during the holidays.  Other individuals:  missing the decency gene. 

19 months ago today, this blog, daVine Remedy , went live.  Since then the second-highest most clicked-on:  posts about Stephanie Edwards –booted from the KTLA Rose Parade commentary booth.*  

Stephanie Edwards:  bright, charming, witty, personable, smart…fun -maybe the Best commentator of any, anywhere, booted out of the booth -flung into the bleachers -during major rain-storm, to do ‘color’ from the curb, while two bores bored each other, Los Angelenos and all viewers of the “Rose Parade” two years ago –by bone-heads ‘running’ KTLA.  Why? 

The female who took Stephanie Edwards seat–she cannot be called
“replacement”-so dull, frumpy, dumb, it is True Mystery Why she has Any job on TV–most likely hired:  to pander to ONE ethnic group of viewers…though there are Only five -eight(?) TV stations broadcasting in non-English already, to pander to that ethnic group.  The rest of us???

Her “partner” in pedestrian palaver:  a dried up old bore, without the brains G-d gave chickens -“I attended Pasadena City College, for three weeks” -the guy who didn’t notice/care he told an anti-Semitic joke -into a live mic -on camera, to Roger Moore, doing a documentary, “Roger & Me” on GM’s shut-down of an auto plant.  You Know someone is Old Bore:  when they say Exact same sentences -every year, year after year after year.  -So trite:  you can hit the “mute” button -look at the picture -KNOW what he is saying about it.  

Those bores –instead of the splendid Stephanie:
a downer…spoils the Parade….

KTLA:  no class.  No brains. 

daVine Remedy  -Dump the dummy and the duffus –bring back Stephanie

UPDATE Stephanie! Yes!

After Parade: The Game
If you aren’t a fan -of football -sports -college games –don’t know: in Los Angeles, we all still get hypnotized –The Game –Pasadena’s Rose Bowl.  This year:  Illinois and USC faced off over pigskin….

Flat out admit:  this author doesn’t read Sports page, of any newspaper –heck, can barely keep up with all the food -political -environmental reading, can hardly find time, or interest, in another subject.  -So this author isn’t aware if anyone has already said, written it, so I will:  USC: plays d-i-r-t-y.

It doesn’t matter–What else the coach, the players of USC do, They commit more fouls than any other team.  -It is rare, it seems, for a play run by USC to finish -without punctuation of a flag.    -Yanking a shoulder -facemask -elbow -ankle -whatever.  From “unsportsmanship” –They steal -they trick –well-worn phrase from the refs -pointing to the brat brawlers, listing the grievance, the yardage lost in penalty. 

For full disclosure:  this author a supporter of UCLA -and got that way from years of seeing the garbage out of the bores of the over-rich, the arrogant, the Might Makes Right believers.  Every person I’ve ever met, known who came out of USC:  believes they are “superior” -privileged -somehow entitled -to use “Disabled” parking stickers to park in front of the door of any store, any market –cut in front of the line; pay others to take the test, write the papers. 

I once interviewed interns, for my Beverly Hills-based ad agency.  With some reservations, I chose one -from USC.  On the day she was to begin:  no show.  I called herand got:  “I told my parents I was going to work in an agency; they said I wasn’t going to go into advertising.”  So much, for adulthood, responsibility, manners….  The Job Counselor was just as appalled.  The intern who Wanted the job:  was delighted –and happy, when it turned into a paying job, with varied unusual tasks and freedom to set the priorities.

Their pretty-boy millionaire coach
Reputation -for aggression at recruiting players.  His aggression -at seeing those young players get an education?  Not on anybody’s radar, not, apparently, important…or even relevant?  How many of the students -turned out after playing football for him, turned out with an education or an NFL contract -or ability to provide themselves with a living?How many the millionaire coach recruits -wind up with paid rent -new clothes -parents’ bills paid -free tuition, quietly thumbing nose at the rules -for everybody else?  See:  Reggie Bush –and How Many others?

Oh –USC isn’t crammed full of brats?  Really?
Their daddies: just a few weeks ago, tried to strong-arm the Commissioners who manage the Coliseum –to get their way –to get luxury boxes –‘better’ lights –‘special’ parking –perks –Control –of The CITY’S arena –so the brats could play in –luxury.

–The Coliseum, good enough –for 1984 Olympics –for Los Angeles residents, “not” good enough for fat cat daddies of the darlings who prance around USC campus. Ya, right. Way Cool, Commissioners –and Rose Bowl managers, way to go, Both refused to cave to the whiners! –Not Even for $100 Million-buck ‘sweetener.’ Way Cool.

USC:  no brains, no class. 

daVine Remedy  -in the New Year, may USC get Every thing they have Earned -including a seat on the sofa, in their jammies, watching the 2009 Rose Bowl game…as UCLA Proves who has the class.

During boring parts of the Parade, the bands, and the commercials during the Game:  “mute” button?  Nope.  Nice little treat, courtesy of other end of TV dial:  “The Honeymooners” -marathon, on KDOC, channel 56.  Delightful, fun, funny.  Good old golden oldie. Sweet.

So for a Really Good 2008:  we need A Change –to look forward to Stephanie Edwards, back where she belongs, fewer bands, way less/invisible USC…and Democrats, everywhere, elected to federal office…May “8” be a Very Good Year…daVine Remedy!


(*–Only:  the cardinal thug Roger & his Taj Mahony monument to himself and abetting -enabling -hiding child rapist “priests” in his employ, and the post on church’s cash, $660 million, he used to buy his way out of the trial -evaded admitting crimes he committed, gets more readership.)

* * * * *
tag:  Tournament of Roses Parade Stephanie Edwards dumped KTLA channel 5 Pasadena, Rose Bowl football UCLA, USC brats, New Year Year’s day food snacks TV “Honeymooners” marathon, US election 2008

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